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I Feel Sorry For My Son

My baby boy is soon to turn 4 months old and I feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for him because he hasn’t had the attention that he rightly deserves from friends who me and my husband chose as family! 

It’s understandable that life can be hectic and we float through it not realising what shitty people we can be. Not making an effort and not reaching out has become the norm for some and I find myself saying “it’s ok, they’re probably busy with life stuff” but it’s actually not ok that you’ve decided to ignore the fact that new life has just been magically brought into this world. I find myself making excuses for people who I once cared about for not caring about my child and his well being. When was the last time you FaceTimed or even messaged and asked how he was doing? 

When I was pregnant with Ella, she had so many wonderful “aunts and uncles” ready to welcome her to the world. She had visitors non stop from the day she was born (literally at the hospital a few hours after she was born) until she was about 3 weeks old. EVERYDAY! At her baby shower, I had so many friends turn up and felt the love from everyone. Everyone who made it out, spoiled our little girl with generous gifts and kindness. Those who couldn’t make it even sent gestures of love via post. The generosity was so great that when she turned 1, we were still able to use some of those gifts friends and family had generously bought for her before she was even born.

Now when it came to my son, it’s been like tumble weed passing for the last 4 months. The friends who were right up there on my “love you” list have not even moved to the bottom… they’re off it! I’ve been patient enough! I shouldn’t need to remind you that I’ve had a baby 4 months ago whom you haven’t met yet. I shouldn’t need to ask you, “when you coming round?” I shouldn’t need to tell you “you’re shit and have utterly let us down.” Nor should I need to remind you “my daughter is also now 2 and how many times have you met her or asked about her?” No matter how many children we have, each child should get the same amount of love and attention from their so called aunties and uncles. It’s not a big ask to expect the love for my children to be the same from all of you. IT SHOULDN’T EVEN BE AN ASK!

I get that if you don’t have children yet, you will never understand the hurt I feel for not having a heap load of visitors and attention for my children from people I held dear to my heart. By the time you have your own kids, our friendship would’ve probably fizzled out because of this and we’d probably only be considered as friends from many moons ago. How is it possible that your free time is booked up months in advance with me and my family not even being one of those bookings? No effort…. prime example of NO EFFORT being made to visit my children. You don’t have to travel to us, we will happily meet you somewhere if you just asked.

I give a pass to all my fellow parent friends as I know REAL busy life is when you have children because let’s face it, nothing else even matters if your children aren’t cared for. Funny thing is, the ones reaching out the most and asking about my children if they haven’t visited yet, are my friends who have been busy parenting also. Some are complete strangers who I’ve never met but I chat with on social media who genuinely care about my children. Some are friends who I haven’t spoken to for YEARSSSS that somehow got back in touch because of their genuine interest for my children. 

I shouldn’t have to be the one to ask you to come visit. You should want to come. And I write this because not everyone can read my mind but how many actually even read my blog posts? I see you liking my Instagram posts, but do you click that link in my bio? I blog about my family as a way to share some of what I’ve learnt as a parent as well as a way for you to keep up with us, but how many of my “friends” actually even bother to read my blog posts?

I thank all of my friends and family who have genuinely shown interest in my family and have continuously made an effort to visit/meet us regardless of every failed attempt and how far the travel may be. But for those who have yet to try, I’m truly disappointed in you. 

My son deserves better. My daughter deserves better. My family doesn’t have to be your priority, but they are my priority and if you can’t appreciate my MIA for my children and don’t make time for us, we can no longer respectfully call ourselves friends. Enough is enough! 

Mama T

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