The last few days, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and a bit stressed. Ella is such a handful and Myles seems to be going through a growth spurt so has been quite fussy crying most of the time and not wanting to sleep during the day without the comfort of being held.

I’m not one to hold onto these emotions but I can’t seem to shake them. I wake up and feel positive that today is a new day and I won’t be agitated or annoyed when Ella asks me to carry her WHILE I’m feeding Myles. This scenario leads to a 2 year old toddler screaming and whining for mummy to carry her, leading to relaxed Myles now being alert and on the verge of crying cause his ear drums can’t take Ella’s screams!

I’ll try not to let it bother me that my toddler won’t eat proper meals and prefers to snack throughout the day. I can’t force her to eat what she doesn’t want to eat. I try to give her options but want her to eat full proper meals  which is still unsuccessful. So her snacks become broken up meals that combined, make up one healthy meal. She might have an apple for breakfast, some sweet corn a while later, a chicken wing for lunch, some green beans/carrots in the late afternoon and perhaps a bowl of plain rice for dinner. 🤷🏽‍♀️ If I put all these ingredients together onto one plate/bowl, she’ll pick at what she wants to eat and leave the rest. I just can’t win when it comes to meal times, so, I just let it be. At least she’s eating something!

I’ve been making sure I spend time with Ella just us 2 doing things she likes, like reading, colouring, playing in the rain and all other sorts of things, but I’m getting a bit worn out. Between comforting a growing Myles and playing with a 2 year old who’s energy levels never seem to simmer down then having to do my other duties in the house, I just can’t catch a break. It’s the sweetest thing that she just wants to be next to me ALL THE TIME but sometimes I can’t help but feel frustrated when I need something done and she’s clinging onto my leg for me to carry her and take her with me.

When both children cry at the same time, it’s hard not to feel like wanting to breakdown because you know you have to chose which one to comfort first. I try to comfort them both on the sofa, with Myles in my arms and Ella cuddled up next to me. I physically can’t handle carrying them both at the same time, although there have been times when I did but my arms felt like they were going to break off after 2 minutes!

It’s not that I have a favourite or that I don’t want to mother them, but it’s when they go off at the same time or one after the other that gets to me. When I calm one down I think I’m catching a break, then the other one starts making a fuss. Most days I feel like joining in and on the odd occasion, I actually have! 😢

Today is a new day and I’ll try to loosen up and not be so frustrated, but no guarantees that I won’t cry at some point of the day.

Mama T

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